I am the satirist


Being satirical is a challenge, let me tell you. Not everyone can craft it as perfectly as a Russel Peters Or an Andy Zaltzman or for that matter any standard stand-up comedian. The timing has to be meticulous. Well, look who is talking. I, of all, in the world shouldn’t be talking on this. I get my timings horrendously wrong while trying to be satirical. But still, Twitter lets me unleash my joke-cracking skills. Some PJs (Poor Jokes) and some, really really PJs (Proper Jokes). So, this is what I did in Twitter when boredom drove me nuts. Sit back and enjoy. I am an optimist. So, I hope you’ll enjoy.

POLITICS:


  • This Goa CM says he is like a Sachin Tendulkar. Poor chap isn’t in Twitter, I guess! Else, he’d have said Sir Ravindra Jadeja 🙂

  • Prank of the day:Inspired from Gen.Mushraff, Michael Clarke says he’s proud of his team’s performance against India #RahulDay #AprilFoolsDay

  • Prank of the day: Manmohan Singh just defeated Navjot Singh Sidhu in an extempore today! Everyone faint. #RahulDay #AprilFoolsDay

  • Digvijaya Singh : Yes, Prez Mushraff was behind the Kargil war. He had to do it for self defense. #YouRememberHisCommentOnSanjayDutt

  • *ROBBER* Vadra.

  • After listening to what Sanjay Dutt said, Suresh Kalmadi will ask the SC to release him for the next CWG in 2014 and then he’ll surrender!

  • This guy Nitish Kumar reminds me of that nerd classmate in the High school who always stayed opposed to the extra Games hour! #GetLostPls


CRICKET:


  • Just a thought. What would’ve happened if SREESANTH chose to provoke Navjot Singh Sidhu instead of provoking the other Sardar #GettingCheeky.

  • Historic moment in Twitter. Sir Ravindra Jadeja tweets. The stocks are expected to soar! 🙂 @imjadeja is his handle!

  • I have no idea why IPL organizers have planned it as a 50+ days event. You know very well that SIR’s team will win anyway. @SirJadeja

  • Was @BrianLara really playing pranks today with @ImRaina when he tweeted that Raina has it in him to become a great Test batsman! 🙂

  • One day a small kid was smashing 4s & 6s. Sir Ravindra Jadeja chided him to play defensive strokes. Today, we know him as Rahul Dravid #JadejaFacts

  • When Sir Ravindra Jadeja was a 5-year old kid, he started using Water-colours! From that day, we celebrate the day as ‘Holi’ #JadejaFacts

  • “Our blunder is not worse than other calendar blunders”- Mayans #DoomsdayExcusesLikeDhoni

  • Gautam Gambhir is a wicket-to-wicket thrill seeker!!! #RunoutMaster


GENERAL :


  • #IAmSoMiddleClass that I pile up these Sauce packets from KFC and McDonalds at home instead of buying the Kissan Tomato Ketch ups.

  • So eventually with the money they charge for Air-ticket cancellations, #MakeMyTrip have grown to sponsor an #IPL team #SunrisersHyderabad

  • What came first? The Chicken or the egg? Hypothetical question? Wait, try ordering them separately in eBay. 🙂 #SelfThoo

  • Don’t be surprised if some dolt moves Avai Shanmughi to HC for portraying a Muslim Cook as a cheater! #Vishwaroopam

  • They’ll take some China clay with them too 🙂 RT @TheHindu Chinese astronauts plan to grow vegetables on Moon.

  • It took US 10 years to complete the hide & seek game #OsamaBinLaden. India finishes the Hangman game in just 4 years #Kasab 🙂 #smallJoys

  • Kejri*bomb* explodes in Delhi. My Manager’s pre-Diwali*bomb* explodes in the office for not meeting the project deadline. One India.One Diwali.

  • #MadeInIndia  1. Cattle class.. Sorry, the Tharoor class.. 2. NOHIT Sharma. 3.KEJRI-bomb.

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