I am the satirist

Being satirical is a challenge, let me tell you. Not everyone can craft it as perfectly as a Russel Peters Or an Andy Zaltzman or for that matter any standard stand-up comedian. The timing has to be meticulous. Well, look who is talking. I, of all, in the world shouldn’t be talking on this. I get my timings horrendously wrong while trying to be satirical. But still, Twitter lets me unleash my joke-cracking skills. Some PJs (Poor Jokes) and some, really really PJs (Proper Jokes). So, this is what I did in Twitter when boredom drove me nuts. Sit back and enjoy. I am an optimist. So, I hope you’ll enjoy.

POLITICS:

• This Goa CM says he is like a Sachin Tendulkar. Poor chap isn’t in Twitter, I guess! Else, he’d have said Sir Ravindra Jadeja 🙂




• Prank of the day:Inspired from Gen.Mushraff, Michael Clarke says he’s proud of his team’s performance against India #RahulDay #AprilFoolsDay




• Prank of the day: Manmohan Singh just defeated Navjot Singh Sidhu in an extempore today! Everyone faint. #RahulDay #AprilFoolsDay




• Digvijaya Singh : Yes, Prez Mushraff was behind the Kargil war. He had to do it for self defense. #YouRememberHisCommentOnSanjayDutt




• *ROBBER* Vadra.




• After listening to what Sanjay Dutt said, Suresh Kalmadi will ask the SC to release him for the next CWG in 2014 and then he’ll surrender!




• This guy Nitish Kumar reminds me of that nerd classmate in the High school who always stayed opposed to the extra Games hour! #GetLostPls

CRICKET:

• Just a thought. What would’ve happened if SREESANTH chose to provoke Navjot Singh Sidhu instead of provoking the other Sardar #GettingCheeky.




• Historic moment in Twitter. Sir Ravindra Jadeja tweets. The stocks are expected to soar! 🙂 @imjadeja is his handle!




• I have no idea why IPL organizers have planned it as a 50+ days event. You know very well that SIR’s team will win anyway. @SirJadeja




• Was @BrianLara really playing pranks today with @ImRaina when he tweeted that Raina has it in him to become a great Test batsman! 🙂




• One day a small kid was smashing 4s & 6s. Sir Ravindra Jadeja chided him to play defensive strokes. Today, we know him as Rahul Dravid #JadejaFacts




• When Sir Ravindra Jadeja was a 5-year old kid, he started using Water-colours! From that day, we celebrate the day as ‘Holi’ #JadejaFacts




• “Our blunder is not worse than other calendar blunders”- Mayans #DoomsdayExcusesLikeDhoni




• Gautam Gambhir is a wicket-to-wicket thrill seeker!!! #RunoutMaster

GENERAL :

• #IAmSoMiddleClass that I pile up these Sauce packets from KFC and McDonalds at home instead of buying the Kissan Tomato Ketch ups.




• So eventually with the money they charge for Air-ticket cancellations, #MakeMyTrip have grown to sponsor an #IPL team #SunrisersHyderabad




• What came first? The Chicken or the egg? Hypothetical question? Wait, try ordering them separately in eBay. 🙂 #SelfThoo




• Don’t be surprised if some dolt moves Avai Shanmughi to HC for portraying a Muslim Cook as a cheater! #Vishwaroopam




• They’ll take some China clay with them too 🙂 RT @TheHindu Chinese astronauts plan to grow vegetables on Moon.




• It took US 10 years to complete the hide & seek game #OsamaBinLaden. India finishes the Hangman game in just 4 years #Kasab 🙂 #smallJoys




• Kejri*bomb* explodes in Delhi. My Manager’s pre-Diwali*bomb* explodes in the office for not meeting the project deadline. One India.One Diwali.




• #MadeInIndia  1. Cattle class.. Sorry, the Tharoor class.. 2. NOHIT Sharma. 3.KEJRI-bomb.