The Big Daddy Elections!! India Votes

Election time. The world’s largest democracy goes to the polls and in a month’s time, it will have a new government and a new Prime Minister (to go by what the exit polls say). Everyone talks about the election these days. Even the World Cup T20 final involving India seemed secondary. Newspapers compete to publish columns, both in support of and against the political parties. News Channels are banking on the high profile election debates to increase their TRPs. There are political rallies every day. I stay glued to Twitter when all these happen, as every sensible, intellectual and highly practical discussions take place there. From slaps to hate speeches, you get different perceptions for every political event, some over-serious while some interestingly funny! It only remains to be seen how many of them who rant about political issues in social media, actually go and cast their votes when their time comes. Or will they remain content in asking others to vote is to be seen.

The election campaign is so much fun.

In the Bangalore South Constituency where Nandan Nilekani is contesting, look how they’re scaring the shit out of little kids! May be we should try this trick with our VVS Laxman masks every time India play against the Australians. Just to scare them!

The Nilekani Masks

The Nilekani Masks!   Photo courtesy: Deccan Herald photo gallery

The elections are about capturing National attention, unlike Kerala where they are so obsessed with the LDF and UDF that they simply do not a give a rat’s ass on who’s set to form a government in Delhi. Most literate state in the country? My foot. Learn from the DMK in Tamilnadu. Self trolling reached new heights when they put out posters like these:

Their nephew did those Anti-Hindi protests in the 1970s

Their nephew did those Anti-Hindi protests in the 1970s

I wonder who orchestrated all those Anti-Hindi protests in the 70s and the 80s. Perhaps someone’s nephew. So, even the DMK has understood that you need to be in sync with the national interests for national elections. By the way, Nonagenarian Muthuvel Karunanidhi Saab would’ve surely written those Dakshin Bharat Hindi Prachar Sabha exams.

Forget the DMK. Jayalalithaa will give them a fitting answer to this U-turn. But what about Mamata Bannerjee? Will she be a little sympathetic towards the Comrades in Bengal, who look completely out of sorts? Or will continue to be the aggressive Bengali woman? Don’t worry, the communists will discuss how to handle Mamata in their Next politburo. Given the age that they still live in, one may expect that politburo meeting to be held only next year. But wait, they’re recently into Twitter and Facebook, okay. So, don’t accuse them of still floating in the seventeenth century. Talking of floating, Nitish Kumar’s ship in Bihar is on the verge of sinking. Coming to Uttar Pradesh, well, let’s leave it there. I have no idea what the father-son duo are upto there. So, we’ll skip UP.

I do not want to talk about the AAP either; for they’re yet to respond to this letter (An open letter to the AAP) that I wrote to them after their stellar performance in Delhi four months back. Forget their response, they’ve still not let us know their stand on the critical issues pertaining to the country.

I’d vote for the party which will take India forward. More importantly, for a Prime Ministerial candidate who talks and doesn’t sit in Dharnas when given the task of governing.

P.S.  Voting is not only our right but also our duty. Do not shy away from showing your inked finger. Even if it happens to be your middle finger. You’ll get away with it. Ask the Bachchans.

Make obscene gestures and still get away with it

Make obscene gestures and still get away with it








An open letter to the AAP from the sane 90 generation

Dear AAP,

First of all congratulations on a brilliant debut in the Delhi Assembly elections. We, like millions in the country are in awe with your performance. It really needs guts to take on the lions. You’ve shown us what we all are capable of. You’ve shown us that if the system is corrupt, we can clean it by throwing the culprits out. You’ve shown how a common man’s voice can be heard. And you did show us that common man could not be taken for granted.
Now that Delhi has shown the way, it’s for the other cities to follow. 2014 will be an action packed year for Indians. By the end of this year, we’ll have a new Prime Minister and his set of Ministers leading us and in a way shaping our future. They’ll be the torch bearers of the hope of the economic superpower status in 2020, as dreamt by our former people’s president Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.
For many of us who are born in the 90s and a handful of first time voters in them, Gujarat’s Development model as engineered by Shri Narendra Modi shows glimpses of realizing that dream. Yes, there are religious sentiments attached with the right wing politics but many first time voters are more bothered about their and their country’s future than delving deep into an unfortunate past. They’re the ones who adore Shah Rukh Khan and A.R. Rahman the same way they idolize Rajnikanth and Shankar Mahadevan. Religious differences are as important to them as the floppy disks to this generation.
Now, what’re the chances and reasons for us to vote/not vote for you in the coming general elections? You’ve successfully campaigned against the corrupt Netas, nailed a few dirty hands in the cabinet and have appreciably orchestrated the biggest anti-corruption movement in the country. But governing India is far from just that. What’s your stand on the economic issues? How would you react if Pakistan violates yet another ceasefire agreement? What would you do for Walmart? How would you tackle the religious issues in the country and how do you address the regional trouble makers? What’ll you do for the law and order situation in the country? Rapes and Acid attacks are on the rise and what would you to do to ensure that the women in this country feel safe?
It’s easy for an Aam Admi like this writer to pose questions. But you’re not just an Aam Admi now. You’re our representative. Every one of us who go in to vote this year will have those questions in the mind and if you could chart out plans and let us know your take on issues other than corruption as well, it will clear the air. And Kejriwal ji, I know IITians make the impossible possible. I am sure you’ll be no exception either.
Thanks. Best Wishes. Cheers.
Yours sincerely,
An Aam Admi (no, not your party member)