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Confirmed: ‘Ban’ana Republic only


It was with so much hope that Indians voted the BJP led alliance to power in 2014. Our tainted image of being one of the most corrupt countries in the world had to be changed. Our march towards realizing Dr. Kalam’s 2020 dream looked stalled. And we thought the BJP led NDA would come to our rescue and take the nation forward. So, are we on the right track? Have we strolled forward? Have our citizens been served properly? Have we set the right launch pads for our youths to take off? Has every citizen in the country started to think if there is freedom to choose his/her careers, choose what he/she can wear, do what he/she likes without being forced?

Political scientists and journalists have debated, discussed in volumes and will continue to judge the performance of the Govt. And so I don’t want to reproduce it all through this blog post. I would like to voice my opinion on our freedom. After all, right to freedom is our constitutional right. And how can we think of our careers, development and better way of life when our basic freedom is curbed?

It started with the Beef Ban in Maharashtra. How can someone control my food habits? How can someone tell me what to eat and what not to eat? Then came the books, movies and some stand-up comedy shows. Those lines, stories and words which could possibly hurt the sentiments of people and communities has to be censored but politicizing the matter is ridiculous. The third victim was the elixir of a bachelor’s life- Maggi. Why is it that only 2-3 brands were banned and others continued despite the truth that all of them taste similar. What were the Food Safety and Standards Authority of India (FSSAI) doing all these years? Were they sleeping? Almost every frigging kid in this country grew up munching the 2-minute delicacy. If his body had gotten used to accepting the alleged high levels of lead, then I’m sure it wouldn’t make any difference going further, had he continued to consume.

The most recent one in the list is the blocking of porn sites. Seriously? No one, not even a single soul which voted the BJP to power would’ve thought that their bedrooms weren’t far away from being regulated by the Govt. Our privacy which we’ve held as an inalienable right, has gone for a toss. It is such an irony that this is the land of Kamasutra and the erotic sculptures dotting the walls of its temples (Khajuraho). Banning porn is not a solution to sexual violence. Create awareness and teach your men to respect women. Dish out capital punishment to the rapists. Sentence the molesters, abusers and gropers. Do not manage someone fantasizing in his/her rooms. That is uncalled for. Of course, some of us (engineers) will have a solution to this, with the proxy servers, VPN connections and Whatsapp sharing, but the question is looming large. Are these the signs of things to come? One day you ban the porn and the next day, you might ban or target the couples walking together. You might even ban Chowmein, jeans, co-ed schools, colleges and eventually lead us to the path of Talibanization. If we do not raise our voice now, the possibility of such a draconian rule is not far away.

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The Big Daddy Elections!! India Votes


Election time. The world’s largest democracy goes to the polls and in a month’s time, it will have a new government and a new Prime Minister (to go by what the exit polls say). Everyone talks about the election these days. Even the World Cup T20 final involving India seemed secondary. Newspapers compete to publish columns, both in support of and against the political parties. News Channels are banking on the high profile election debates to increase their TRPs. There are political rallies every day. I stay glued to Twitter when all these happen, as every sensible, intellectual and highly practical discussions take place there. From slaps to hate speeches, you get different perceptions for every political event, some over-serious while some interestingly funny! It only remains to be seen how many of them who rant about political issues in social media, actually go and cast their votes when their time comes. Or will they remain content in asking others to vote is to be seen.

The election campaign is so much fun.

In the Bangalore South Constituency where Nandan Nilekani is contesting, look how they’re scaring the shit out of little kids! May be we should try this trick with our VVS Laxman masks every time India play against the Australians. Just to scare them!

The Nilekani Masks

The Nilekani Masks!   Photo courtesy: Deccan Herald photo gallery

The elections are about capturing National attention, unlike Kerala where they are so obsessed with the LDF and UDF that they simply do not a give a rat’s ass on who’s set to form a government in Delhi. Most literate state in the country? My foot. Learn from the DMK in Tamilnadu. Self trolling reached new heights when they put out posters like these:

Their nephew did those Anti-Hindi protests in the 1970s

Their nephew did those Anti-Hindi protests in the 1970s

I wonder who orchestrated all those Anti-Hindi protests in the 70s and the 80s. Perhaps someone’s nephew. So, even the DMK has understood that you need to be in sync with the national interests for national elections. By the way, Nonagenarian Muthuvel Karunanidhi Saab would’ve surely written those Dakshin Bharat Hindi Prachar Sabha exams.

Forget the DMK. Jayalalithaa will give them a fitting answer to this U-turn. But what about Mamata Bannerjee? Will she be a little sympathetic towards the Comrades in Bengal, who look completely out of sorts? Or will continue to be the aggressive Bengali woman? Don’t worry, the communists will discuss how to handle Mamata in their Next politburo. Given the age that they still live in, one may expect that politburo meeting to be held only next year. But wait, they’re recently into Twitter and Facebook, okay. So, don’t accuse them of still floating in the seventeenth century. Talking of floating, Nitish Kumar’s ship in Bihar is on the verge of sinking. Coming to Uttar Pradesh, well, let’s leave it there. I have no idea what the father-son duo are upto there. So, we’ll skip UP.

I do not want to talk about the AAP either; for they’re yet to respond to this letter (An open letter to the AAP) that I wrote to them after their stellar performance in Delhi four months back. Forget their response, they’ve still not let us know their stand on the critical issues pertaining to the country.

I’d vote for the party which will take India forward. More importantly, for a Prime Ministerial candidate who talks and doesn’t sit in Dharnas when given the task of governing.

P.S.  Voting is not only our right but also our duty. Do not shy away from showing your inked finger. Even if it happens to be your middle finger. You’ll get away with it. Ask the Bachchans.

Make obscene gestures and still get away with it

Make obscene gestures and still get away with it