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The Big Daddy Elections!! India Votes


Election time. The world’s largest democracy goes to the polls and in a month’s time, it will have a new government and a new Prime Minister (to go by what the exit polls say). Everyone talks about the election these days. Even the World Cup T20 final involving India seemed secondary. Newspapers compete to publish columns, both in support of and against the political parties. News Channels are banking on the high profile election debates to increase their TRPs. There are political rallies every day. I stay glued to Twitter when all these happen, as every sensible, intellectual and highly practical discussions take place there. From slaps to hate speeches, you get different perceptions for every political event, some over-serious while some interestingly funny! It only remains to be seen how many of them who rant about political issues in social media, actually go and cast their votes when their time comes. Or will they remain content in asking others to vote is to be seen.

The election campaign is so much fun.

In the Bangalore South Constituency where Nandan Nilekani is contesting, look how they’re scaring the shit out of little kids! May be we should try this trick with our VVS Laxman masks every time India play against the Australians. Just to scare them!

The Nilekani Masks

The Nilekani Masks!   Photo courtesy: Deccan Herald photo gallery

The elections are about capturing National attention, unlike Kerala where they are so obsessed with the LDF and UDF that they simply do not a give a rat’s ass on who’s set to form a government in Delhi. Most literate state in the country? My foot. Learn from the DMK in Tamilnadu. Self trolling reached new heights when they put out posters like these:

Their nephew did those Anti-Hindi protests in the 1970s

Their nephew did those Anti-Hindi protests in the 1970s

I wonder who orchestrated all those Anti-Hindi protests in the 70s and the 80s. Perhaps someone’s nephew. So, even the DMK has understood that you need to be in sync with the national interests for national elections. By the way, Nonagenarian Muthuvel Karunanidhi Saab would’ve surely written those Dakshin Bharat Hindi Prachar Sabha exams.

Forget the DMK. Jayalalithaa will give them a fitting answer to this U-turn. But what about Mamata Bannerjee? Will she be a little sympathetic towards the Comrades in Bengal, who look completely out of sorts? Or will continue to be the aggressive Bengali woman? Don’t worry, the communists will discuss how to handle Mamata in their Next politburo. Given the age that they still live in, one may expect that politburo meeting to be held only next year. But wait, they’re recently into Twitter and Facebook, okay. So, don’t accuse them of still floating in the seventeenth century. Talking of floating, Nitish Kumar’s ship in Bihar is on the verge of sinking. Coming to Uttar Pradesh, well, let’s leave it there. I have no idea what the father-son duo are upto there. So, we’ll skip UP.

I do not want to talk about the AAP either; for they’re yet to respond to this letter (An open letter to the AAP) that I wrote to them after their stellar performance in Delhi four months back. Forget their response, they’ve still not let us know their stand on the critical issues pertaining to the country.

I’d vote for the party which will take India forward. More importantly, for a Prime Ministerial candidate who talks and doesn’t sit in Dharnas when given the task of governing.

P.S.  Voting is not only our right but also our duty. Do not shy away from showing your inked finger. Even if it happens to be your middle finger. You’ll get away with it. Ask the Bachchans.

Make obscene gestures and still get away with it

Make obscene gestures and still get away with it