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RIP Dr APJ Abdul Kalam


You were a Great man, Kalam Sir

You were a Great man, Kalam Sir

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Europe’s own Rosetta!


The scientists at the European Space Agency have landed a spacecraft ‘Rosetta’ on a comet. I don’t know the universe-turning advantages of it. Nor am I interested in googling comets. The least I know of comets is one by the name Halley’s which kind of pops up once in 76 years and that of the saying “Comet-h the hour, comet-h the man”. So, I’ll leave it to the ISRO folks.

I am more bothered about the name ‘Rosetta’.

‘Ros-etta’.

‘Roshan-etta’ shortened to ‘Ros-etta’.

Inevitable Malayalee connection?

Talk about universal truths. Sun rises in the east? ‘Yes’. Malayalee in every nook and corner of the world? ‘Yes’. The only person who didn’t believe in the Malayalee fact was Misbah Ul Haq and after his nightmarish scoop in 2007, he too has surrendered.

Now, why did the European Scientists name it ‘Rosetta’?

Rosetta is the Quintessential Mallu. Born and brought up in a farmer household in the rice bowl of Kerala, ‘Kuttanad’. With Marxism in his blood, he finishes Das Kapital in as much time as it takes for an 18-year old in Mumbai and Bangalore to read out a Chetan Bhagat book. He is an abundance of knowledge, ranging from the history of Poland and Vietnam to the political situation in North Korea. He might not be well versed in English. Don’t have high expectations just because he happens to be from the same state of Shashi Tharoor. Remember, even AK Antony is from here. Soccer is his passion. Yes, more than cricket. He is laborious and is fitter than any of the gym dudes in Cochin and Calicut. His weaknesses are the fish fries and beef fries. And his strength is as long his state isn’t declared a ‘Dry’ state. This is our Rosettan.

Now, what did Rosettan do to be in the good books of Europeans? I know, the Europeans prefer Rosettan’s native place for holiday. I know of Rosetta’s brother Pauletta who happened to represent Portugal in one of the FIFA World cups. But I couldn’t find other substantive evidences. So, how would I find out the role Rosetta had to play in the European Spacy Agency’s dream project?

I could either approach the Malayala Manorama, who are the pioneers in educating the world about the possible Malayalee connection of every Tom, Dick and Larry. I could also reach out to the genius Malayalam film director who would find out the truth and tell us the story, without moving his ass out of Kerala.

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It’s 10:30 AM and I need to move MY ass out quickly and head to office. Why the fuck should I care about Rosetta and the European Space Agency? Our women in ISRO, in their Kancheepuram Silk Sarees were instrumental in accomplishing the world’s cheapest Mars Mission. In fact, cheaper than the amount it took for the folks to make the Hollywood movie ‘Gravity’. So, why should I go gaga over a spacecraft being sent to comets by Europeans. Our scientists at the ISRO, Bangalore will come up with the much improved and cost effective project soon.

Poda Dei. India da.